Yeah, I said it.

I may have just started a ‘modern mumma’ war, but the more I hear, the more I want to whack myself around the head with my breast pump.

At first when I heard the terms thrown around in mothers group, I literally had no idea about what they were talking about. I just read an article about ‘types of mums’ and I think I am what you’d call the nonchalant mum. I didn’t read the books and just always figured I would ‘take things as they come’ like my mum did.

My two best mum friends talk about wonder weeks, developmental stages and the likes all the time. And while I don’t necessarily agree, I don’t mind listening. They’re they most incredible mums ever, and their babies are my most second favourite little humans alive.

But mums never had the Wonder Weeks app on their phone 30 years ago. 20 years ago, hell 10 years ago! And we turned out OK right? Without the Paleo diets, and the sleeping techniques and the ‘stormy weeks’. Mums just used their common sense, and if a baby was crying one day they didn’t exclaim to the gods that their baby ‘must be going through a sleep regression’ (what does that even mean?), they just rocked their bub to sleep and put it down to a bad day.

I admit, I have what I’d consider a fairly good baby. But I don’t know what all other babies are like.

Evie feeds well. But she is now on mix formula and breast milk because I can’t keep up with her eating and no matter how many people can give you varying advice like ‘no mum can ever not breastfeed, it’s something you need to work on together’, she wasn’t getting enough.

Evie sleeps well. But she has now taken to 20-40 minute cat naps during the day, complimented with sleeping through the night from 830pm.

Evie interacts well. But her tummy time is more like lay on her tummy sucking her hand and refusing to lift her head. She compliments this but learning to reach out to her Mittens the Kittens toy, and last week she actually rolled (thought I think they slight incline on the couch helped her a bit.. and possibly my pushing).

I guess my main problem with this app, and these terms is that they are a gross generalisation. I downloaded the app after hearing so much about it, and in a mindset ready to completely submit to this way of mothering. But nothing in it made sense to me, nothing applied to Evie and nothing related to us what so ever. This article about succumbing to co-sleeping after trying everything with a non sleeping baby, made me realise that I can share my thoughts, even on The Bean Bible – because while I aim to bring non biased, community pieces, I also aim to present my thoughts as a new mum.

We need to remember that every baby is different – and putting pressure on mums to believe that this is what their baby is supposed to be thinking (at 6 weeks old none the less), is the same as saying that a swaddle will send any baby to sleep, and that all infants should easily take a Medela teet on a dummy. It’s too constricted, too regimented and I just fail to believe that a small baby is having that much going on, no matter how incredible they are (and yes, OK they are doing a lot of growing). Some mums swear by it, and if it helps you, then I’m all for it. But putting all babies into the one bassinet doesn’t sit well with me.

So, excuse me for being ‘controversial’. For being ‘hippie’. For being ‘nonchalent’. But I think Wonder Weeks are the pits. Soz.

Wonder week? Probs. Or just cranky baby.