I read an article a while ago about a mother who unashamedly loved her child more than she loved her husband. I contemplated it, and thought I agreed on some level until I was walking back to work today after having to walk Evie all the way home because she was being needy and decided – no in fact, I don’t. It’s just a different kind of love.
The love I have for Evie is an unequivocal, undeniable, unwavering kind of love. Its the ‘you’re my flesh and bone and I would walk on fire for you’ kind. The one that fills you with awe and happiness and never changes in its levels – sure, it goes up, but never down. It’s the kind of love you didn’t realise you had in you, the kind that comes so naturally you don’t know what you’d do without it. It fills your every moment, without you even thinking about it. It’ll last a lifetime and it consumes you.
The love I have for Chris is so different – it’s a fierce, bursting love that goes up and down. It’s a love that you work hard for, you strive for, the love that fills you with thoughts of ‘how can I make this person happy?’. A love that makes you question the world, a love that inspires you to be a better person, and a love that always makes you want to do more. It comes in pops of ranging emotion, it makes you cry, makes you feel safe, makes you proud and most importantly makes you inspired.
Both of these loves are so completely different, but they all fill the exact same sized part of my heart. No one is bigger than the other, they both have equal rights and places in my life.
What do you think? Do you love your child more than your partner? Or is it just a different kind of love?